All bout KeLZz

Sometimes I don’t even want to know that I could drive because people would tend to take advantage of me. Just because I know how to drive doesn’t mean I’m a driver to them. I just don’t like of being used. My family like that, friends like that and everyone like that as well. Why can’t they give me a break? Last night, my mum keep nagging about asking me to fetch my bro from skewl then fetch him on saturday which actually take my day because the time he needs transport is in the middle of the day and guess what? not only i need to fetch him 1 time but 4 times!! Why can’t they understand me a little?? I just wish I could re-pick my family and friendship. I feel so betrayed. sigh…

Now I actually know whats the feeling of bring "ffk". Sorry baby(james) for ffk-ing you last time now I know the feeling already and I guess this is probably my Karma from it and I don’t like the feeling. The stories goes like this, I told my fren that I would goona pick her up at 8pm and she say ok and guess what?? I was outside her house until 8.45pm. Called and message her, she doesn’t wanna answer or reply my message. If you had no credit atleast come down and let me know but NOPE. I was there waiting in the car alone for freaking more than half an hour. Guess she must had taken her own sweet little time while me starving in the car. Before that her cousin came down and ask whether I wanna come in and I was waiting in the middle of the road and aren’t we suppose to be goin out already like how long ago. So her cousin said she go in and ask my fren first and guess what?? She didn’t turn out. I guess they were taking their own sweet time dressing up for a so called "Holloween" party when we are just goin SS2. What the hell!! Who wouldn’t get pissed?? So I left the place with an empty stomach and went straight to home. Feeling hungry that I could almost eat a pregnant cow, I called up my bro to go buy me back my dinner which became supper. That was how I spend my miserable Friday nite watching tv at home. NICE…

Anyway lets not talk about it anymore. Its the past. No point putting the anger in my heart. Learn to forgive and forget. Hahaha… Look whose talking. Anyway I would be heading to redang on Sunday night with my frens. About 15 guys and 5 girls including me. Would I get a BF there?? No body knows… ahahhahahaa (James, don’t merajuk yea.) Looking forward to the trip. Will blog more after I get back. Alrights readers.. See ya soon!!

Its 3.48am right now? I can’t sleep I don’t know why? I feel scared right now, keep playing the love songs i had dedicated to him. I don’t know why? It makes me feel much better, thinking about all the happy moments that I had with him and it makes me feel of wanting to see him more but I know I have to stop doing all these. Its no point cause no matter what I say or do, he will never bother. I’m probably just a no body to him and not his priority like how it used to be. Its been exactly 3 weeks the last time I saw him. I wonder how is he now? What has he been doing all these while? I would want to talk to him but every time I do so, he always had to leave as soon as possible. Looking at his name online makes me feel like talking to him more but if I fo so he would leave. But if I do so I don’t know what should I say? What topic should I bring out? Its not like last time anymore. Last time i can just simply say anything I want without feeling nervous while I type to him but now its different. Now while I type, my heart pumps real hard and fast. My hands starts to sweat! I wish I could change back time and be the prefect girl he wants. He’ll never forgive me and not talk to me like how he used to be. Everything has change. Why?? Why must it change when my happiness is here? I’m happy with him, why must God take him away from me? Is this my karma? Am I not loyal enough for him? Or I don’t love him enough till I have to get this? When will he only talk to me properly? When? I admit that I still have feelings for him and acting as if I don’t when I talk to him. Its because I don’t want him to leave. He prefer me talking to him as a friend and not more than that and yes I would. Why? So he would talk to me back. I still care for him alot. But I must stop! It brings me no where. He doesn’t realise of me doing so. He doesn’t even bother that I put my eyes on him. Sigh… I wish that he could speak to me. Like update me about his life time like how he update his friends. I’m his friend too but why he is acting to me this way? Am I actually worth getting this kinda treatment from him? My graduation day is on Friday, 16 June. I really wish he could come like he promise me last time. As a friend or not, you breath the same air I do!

James, I hope its not too late. I’m sorry for everything what I did that make you mad. I know what ever I say or do, you would still treat me cold. But how long will you do this to me? I know that you don’t like to have enermies and I’m not so please stop avoiding me already. Since you can hang out with your friends, why can’t you hang out with me as well? I’m your friend too. Why can’t I have the same treatment from you like how you treat others? I don’t understand? Don’t you want to go shopping  like how we used to? Hanging out together and teasing each other? Even though we are friends, why can’t we do it? You can do it with your friends so can we? Give yourself a chance, and you might enjoy it. No body knows? Don’t control your future. Let it go naturally!

Its 4.24am now. I feel much better after blogging and I guess i’m goin to bed now. Nites everyone especially you! Take care and hope you’ll talk to me soon.

It all began with thinking of not to go for the prom. But things changed last minute. About 2 weeks before prom, i actually decided to go after i seeing all my frens are going so i bought my prom ticket worth RM85. It was held at Sheraton Hotel Subang Jaya, on 12 June 2006. So i had planned to go dye my hair before goin for the prom but unfortunate my color didn’t work out so i had to go back there again and because of lack of time, my hairstylist quickly set my hair and i went off home at 5.45pm to get prepared for the night. It took me about less than 45 minutes to get ready. Just imagine how fast was that? Then i headed off to my journey. Had to drive there alone due to "some people" who suppose to fetch me but did not do so. Anyway be reached at the place about 7.10pm and i thought i was late but when i sms my fren, she was actually still at home. (if i knew, i wouldn’t rush) Seeing everyone arriving looking pretty and handsome while taking pictures with my frens (searching for cute guys) aiks!! The prom actually started at 8.30pm when it written on the ticket was 7pm. sigh… but anyway the food was good cause it was from TGI Fridays (my ticket was worth). The table beside mine, there were 3 guys dress as though they were from Korea and they look like one too. Me and the gals was like staring at them and I had never see them around before in college though.

Anyway there were performance played and the two MC of the prom crack the joke of everyone. They were so good that everyone laugh like a mad chicken. haha… But anyway i get to take pictures with my frens for the last but there would be another photo section on my graduation day. Hopefully i graduate and my results are out tomoro. really nervous right now. hehe. The food was good, the performance was urm okie… but the best performance was done by my friend Melissa. She was great, the way she played the saxophone was really "power". I was really suprise that it was really good. She played like Kenny G. haha… The prom was really great. It would be a very memorable thing of my Taylor’s College. Check out the pictures on my album or either my multiply side at http://kkps87.multiply.com/photos/album/7 and don’t worry there would be more pictures up after my graduation day. thanks for peeping!!