Archive for November, 2005

i don’t like this feeling again!

Saturday, November 19th, 2005

the feeling is coming back again and i don’t like it!! i can sences that this relationship is not going to work out and i don’t know why?? why am i being so sensitive? i don’t get it… i try my best to make him happy and satisfied but what else can i do to make both of us happy?? i hate to argue… no body likes to argue but we seems very cold to each other after we argued and settle everything.. y can’t i have a simple relationship?? i know i got my faults also… yes i still love him but does he still?? i seriously can’t stand this pain being hang and don’t know what to do… its really effecting my studies and i can’t pay any attention to it plus its about 5days more to my finals and this kind of thing is happening… why do i have to face this kind of situation again and again?? i had face 8 difficult relationship and finally i found the right guy that i can let him do what ever he wants to that i have nvr let any of the 8guys done before… am i doing this wrong?? i need help!! i don’t like to be stuck in this situation… i want to trust him but i don’t know how to trust him?? i am really scared to be cheated and hurt again… i really do love him alot and i really really do… what must i do to make this relationship work out?? i am not a very patient person and i wanna settle this problem once and for all…

25th blog

Monday, November 14th, 2005

so finals is just next week and somebody enjoying their holiday alot… from Bali to Pangkor… and from Pangkor to Singapore… what happen to me weih?? i don’t care some ppl promise to bring me go lagoon d… hahahah!! anyway so my weekend was really bored because i didn’t go out at all… *this is so not KELLY* i spend my weekend at home in my freaking room… sigh… doing stupid assignments… about same-sex relationship… wtf?? haha… wat is wrong with me today?? probably i just couldn’t wait for my sem to end… less than 2 weeks and my holiday comes… HAHAHAHA!!! i can sleep for 1 whole freaking month… hehe… but now i have to suffer for 2 weeks… n i think time fly really fast… a blind of an eye and it had came to my finals… but during the finals… time will past really slow… wtf?? haha… n this is my 25th blog… told yea… time flies… oh well…

anyway on friday i saw someone that i did not expect to see… i really did got a shock out of my life… even though its not really a big thing but then… sigh.. lets not mention it… i got over it since james came into the picture… so fucked it!! *winks* by the way, in three months time i’m turning 19th… (james, i’m not young anymore…) old old me… =p i realise my life isn’t challenging… i must do something to it!! but what?? any ideas??

singapore trip

Monday, November 7th, 2005

on monday nite, 31oct i received a call from my bro and he said that we will be going to s’pore the next day… and i was like what da hell… i don’t wanna go… but i was forced to go… so i went and i keep wanting to go back during the trip… i keep wishing for the time to pass faster… coz i can’t wait to go back…  so my parents say will be going back on saturday.. and i wan to go back on friday… so the whole trip wasn’t plan at all…

the 1st day there… reached at my uncle’s hse at 9something… then unpack my stuff… n da matress i slept was terrible because it was so thin that i can even feel the floor… oh well… better than nothing rite… then da next day.. went shopping as usual… the whole day at that shopping mall… then had dinner eating porridge… then the next day was on thursday, which is "hari raya"… when to my aunty’s hse for lunch coz she had an open house, we suprised her because she didn’t know that we came… after lunch at she place, the men and women were splited into 2 different cars… the women as usual went shopping an d the men went shopping for electronic stuff… so i bought quite a lot of clothes… hehe… it was very cheap… so at night had chicken rice for dinner… it was delicious because it tasted special… then after dinner when shopping again but this time  bought lots of junk food that m’sia didn’t have… and it finally came to friday… all went shopping again and this time is my bro’s turn to shop because he didn’t really bought anything yet… then i saw this glow in da dark shirt… i wanted to buy but mum don’t allow… she say i bought too many d… plus i do haf a glow in da dark shirt… also from s’pore but someone… erm nvm… anyway tat day… my father suddenly bought a MP3 player for me n my bro each… don’t know what is wrong with him… suddenly buy for us… then i keep asking my mum, are we done yet??? lets go, i back m’sia… coz i was planing to go out at night d… then on the way back… something had happen that i wish it did not happen at all… a motorcyclist hit our car out of no where… his bike was serious damage and my serena’s bumper was badly scratch… then da guy’s dad was a mechanic so our car was send to his workshop and we couldn’t go back on that day… and i was really pissed… sigh… so i made a call back m’sia and told him that i’m not coming back on that day… sigh…. then we had crabs for dinner because my uncle suddenly thought of cooking it for dinner… and finally it came… it was on saturday… pack all my stuff… ready to go back… and it was really jam on da way back… then i keep on asking my bro how fast was my father driving… and how long more to reach… and home sweet home… i finally reach home… then quickly bathe and went out… wah… i missed him badly… spend the whole nite with him… and watch "koma 2"… (will never watch it again)

and this time… is his turn to leave… aaarrrgghhh… so sad… sniff sniff… 4 sad and miserable days… bleh… then another 3 sad and miserable days… sigh… wtf… but oh well… his finals has over… he studied last minute like crazy so its time for him to relax… and about 2 more weeks of college then my finals… then 1 month holiday but he is damn lucky… 3months break… sigh… i hate him… hmph!!—> (for james only) bleh…