I’ll be migrating my blog to multiply. So if you wanna read my blog. Go to www.kkps87.multiply.com there will not only be my blog but my life photo albums. So check it out. n thanks for reading my blog all this while. See you there =)
I was waken up by a sms this morning at 3 something. The message was written "Do you believe in such thing call KARMA? Isit called as karma or revenge?" I was shocked to see such a message at such a time. Then it aleart me that I should write a blog about my philosophy between karma and revenge.
During my childhood life, most things that happenend to me will occurs to revenge. For example, if someone backstab me i’ll double backstab them in return. But now, I’ve grew and met so many different types of situations before, revenge is for someone who doesn’t know how to think logicly which I was once in my childhood life. Revenge will also lead to having karma because I believe, doing something bad to someone it will reflect back to them in future. Growing into this world, many people will think of revenge whether they are business partners, family members, friends or enemies. But to make it clear, does revenge makes you happy after doing it? It might but for a short term. After awhile you might relise what you had done had actually made someone suffer in pain or making their lifes miserable. If eveyone in this world act like that, there won’t be peace and no body could be trusted at all. If someone in future cheated on you, let it be. I believe one day, that person who cheated on you will gets his/her own karma without you doing anything. You might agree or might not with me but as said in the title, philosophy of Kelly. So its my point of view.
Whether you do good or bad, karma will come around the corner. If you treat someone good, i’m sure one day somebody will treat you good as well. But without having any expectations on what you are doing. It doesn’t mean that if you donate money to charity, a rich person will donate money to you one day. It does not mean that way. If you have a good heart, i’m sure that something will do good in your future. But if something bad happens to you even though you have done so much good things, do not blame on karma. You just got bad luck! That is what I believe in. Everything you do in life, it will reflect in future. Like what karma means, "what goes around, comes around." I believe in that.
I have friends who treated their boyfriends or ex-boyfriends like rubish. Taking every advantages they could from the people that love them. Whether its cash, shopping list, security, accompany, transportation and so on it still meant stealing! If you have a pair or hands and legs, i’m sure that anyone could move on with their life without depending on other people. Some people might cry and feel sad that why when you love that person so much and had sacrificed so much for that person, that person still leaves you? For me, its because you did not appreaciate the person once love you in the past and now when you finally love the person, they tend to ignore your appearence. BUT, if you did not do such thing in the past I believe one day, someone better will come around.
For me, I hate telling lies and I hate keeping secrets for people which leads to lies. To be honest, I won’t purposely spread your secrets but I’ll tell the truth if someone ask. Telling lies really makes no good in life. If you have a good heart, I believe lies wouldn’t be nessesary. You might think that what ever I say now, you already know or you don’t care much about it. I won’t stop you from reading my blog. You can just click the little "X" on the top right side of your screen. It wouldn’t affect me at all.
To me, if you want to do something, do it openly. If you like someone, like that person openly and not have an underground relationship. Be prove of it for doing it. I disagree with people doing things in life secretive. It will just make their life much miserable. I can say that i’ve seen people lying to their parents for many reasons. But to me, why must you lie to them? Yes, they might scold you, ground you, and stop you from doing it. Why? Why are they doing it? I believe that is not that they don’t understand you but they know more about life and whats good or bad. For now, I’ll stop here and will continue next time.
NOTE: Do not even get pissed at me or blame me for writting this blog. Cause its my philosophy so its for you to follow or just pretend you have never read this. Thank you for sharing your time.
I got 6 current close friends. They are A, B, C, D, E and F. All I can say is they are all complicate. You know why? Read my story carefully, it might complicated you as well. haha.
So once upon a time, A fall in love with B again (A and B were exs). But B doesn’t want to be with A cause of hmm… its secret! Then B had a crush on C before but that was years back and C is D’s ex. C and D still have this "thing" together after so long. E loves D so much that E had sacrifice so much for D but D seems not appreciating E even though D had feelings for E. D’s life is more complicated than anyone of them cause D has feelings for W, X, Y and Z. E isn’t happy with it but still E does things for D. So F here, has a crush on B too. A and B knows about it but nothing was done. A, B and F often hangs out together. Double dates for B i guess.
Guess what? As me being the middle person of this complicated friendship don’t know what to do. Seeing so many changes in B and D makes my heart broken because they are my bestest friends since young. Being involve in this kinda relationship makes no good at all. How I just wish that I have the power to put A and B together and then D and E together. But one thing, B and D must stay loyalty to A and E. And also quit their smoking!! Thats what I hate most. I can’t do anything cause they always claims that is their lives and they wanna do what ever they like and has nothing to do with me. Okie, me shutting my mouth and watch this complicated friendship moving up and down. So without my powers, I can’t do nothing about it but just giving more advise which nobody respects. Haha.
I guess this is it. I hope that A, B, C, D, E and F will make their decisions wisely and would not regret about it. Live life happily and make life simple. Thats what I’m trying to do right now. Gosh… finally I could relise my expression somewhere. haha…
THE END…
p/s: if you got a comment, comment it here, don’t come sending me messages cause what I said here its a true story. By the way, I did not mention names. So, only the people who knows who they are, they should keep it to them self. This blog is for me to express my feelings! So like they said, I shall say the same "My blog, my problem"
Its been 3 months since I last blog. Many things had happened in this 3 months. There is so much to say in so little time. I shall draft it out abit. Since after the special occasion of James’s suprise bday party, I had experience alot of things which I have not experience it before. I can say life is tough without working hard.
My finals was around the corner after the suprise party I made for him. Both of us was trying our best to study and score for our finals. He was going to graduate and me moving on to my second sem. Just right after my last paper, both of us went on a trip which was planned with weeks back. We went to Langkawi together. The trip was fun but tiring. In 3 days we had visited the whole island from one end to another. I really enjoyed the trip so much that I which I could go back there now with him and relax. Times passes by so soon that it was the end of our trip. After the trip, he was so busy with himself that I was left alone feeling neglected. Lets not talk about the sad stuff.
About after a week or two, I went to penang to visit my uncle who came down from New Zealand. Me and my bro spend about 5days there. The trip I can say its unpredictable. Penang was so hot and bored. Come to think again, I don’t know why in the first place I was so eager to go there. On the 1st night, I was already ready to go home but I couldn’t because I got 3 more nights to go through. Finally the last day, I was so happy that I was going home. I couldn’t wait to reach home because its been 2 weeks since I last saw him. I missed him so much even though he didn’t call or msg me. Then we went to 2 different parties on that night. It was fun but its not as much fun as seeing my baby J after two weeks.
So about 1 week later, I went to Singapore and Batam on a family trip. It was fun till the last day in Batam which my aunty came to visit. Who ever that knows me well, you know how painful it can be. I couldn’t walk, eat or do anything at that time. So far the trip was good except for that part. I spend a wonderful xmas there with my family and relatives but I was kinda upset that I couldn’t spend xmas with him. I’m still waiting for my xmas present that he owe me till now.
After I came back from the trip, as usual i miss him so much that I wanted to see him desperately. Its been 1 week since I last saw him before I went on the trip. But now its been 2 weeks since I last saw him again. I really which I could see him again asap. Even though he had broke 2 promises he made I still love him.
(Baby J, Even though we couldn’t spend xmas and countdown together. I hope that we could spend valantines and my birthday together. I’m looking very forward to that days. Going through this feeling again and again is never easy for me. I hope to see you soon. I just wanna wish you here "Happy 15 months anniversary".)
It was all began about 2 months ago. I was wondering at that time, what should I get for James for his bday? I wanted something special and something he will never forget. A surprise bday party came into my mind. So I plan with his frens (Soo Han and Lik Min) about the place and everything else. It so happens that his best fren, Lik Min’s bday falls on the same day as him. So i suggested that i make the party for both of them but it wasn’t a suprise bday for Lik Min (so sorry bout that) because i needed his help as well. I also wanted to customize a cake of a picture of both of them on top. A week before his bday finally came. I went round and round SS2 to find the cake shop which does this it and finally i’ve found it. I also made arrangements with his frens for the actual date on 18oct, wednesday at Oasis, Bangsa. But some unexpexted things came out. Almost half of his frens could not make it on that day due to their personal problems. I was pretty disappointed about it. But they wanted to celebrate James and Lik Min’s bday on the saturday which wasn’t my expectation because it was just a night before the gathering they wanted to held. So a quick think, i’ve decided to push the surprise bday party earlier. I had to replan everything again. Thank god i knew a fren which was eugene (thank you so so much for helping me out) which knows the Friendster Cafe’s owner. So just 1 call, i book a cake which was a Tiramisu cake and a table for 15 pax which was really very last minute. Then i had to sms and call his frens to tell them about the last minute change of plan.
The day came. So as usual, me and James would go out on our weekend together. We went for dinner and then we went to Mid Valley to search for some stuff. 
The first thing i did after we came back from Mid Valley and drop by his house to use the toilet was i blind fold him.
So the plan was suppose to be 10.30pm which all this frens arrive and i’ll bring him over at 11pm. Due to delays here and there which was his frens couldn’t make it in time and also the jam which cause us to arrive late. thanks to about 2-3 accidents on the road made as though the whole world is traffic jam.
The exciting moment finally came. He had to hold me tight to cross the road and climb up the steps from my car, blind fold. He was making alot of noise about where am i bringing him and where was he. Many people were staring at us from my car to Frienster Cafe as if we are like an aliens but I didn’t care much. So his frens all arrived and i placed him at the table. I took off the blind fold and "TAA DAAA" . he was pretty blur at 1st because he wasn’t wearing his glasses and he couldn’t see what was going on. When he wore them, he was shock from his look of his face. All his close frens were there and about 16 of us celebrated his and Lik Min’s bday. He went around the long table, shaking their hands because it been a while the last he saw them. One of the guys he did not see for few years as well. After everything settle down, the bday cake came and we sang the bday song for both the birthday boys. 
They were really surpise about the cake from the look from their eyes. 
And here goes a picture of the bday boys.
James was really excited about it i could see from his smile. He has not stop smilling since he got there and i’m glad everything went well. Except for the picture cake i was expecting alot. Oh well, atleast he is happy, i’m happy as well. He went sitting around like every corner of the table to find out the latest updates of his frens. 
So after the party they wanted a second round and as for the Libra-rians (there were 6 of them) couldn’t make any decisions at all so the majority decided to go to Murni in SS2. 
After about 1-2 hours of chat talking about their past, it finally came to an end. He took his old school group picture and we left. 
A last picture of the bday boys again!
My work here was done! I hope everyone enjoyed the party but the saddess thing was i kept forgetting to take pictures. Lots of his frens couldn’t get to take a picture with the bday boys due to my stupidity. Sigh…………. I guess not everything will turn out well I suppose.
When i 1st got a message from my Managing Director, I thought that she was a fake ageant because there is alot of friendsters profile saying that they are all those model agencies. To make sure, i had ask plenty of questions to see whether isit a true agency. So yup, its true! So after few months of chatting and contacting my ageant, I finally agree to join the competition.
Finally the day came which was yesterday, 14 Sept., thursday. I was suppose to be there by 5pm at Palm Beach Bistros but because of the heavy rain, jam and the wrong turning i thought that i was going to be late and missed alot. But nope, i was the 1st person there. Thanks to james, he drove me and was there for me the whole entire time. I know i’ve wasted 8 hours of his time for him to just sit and wait for me. (thanks alot darling). So 1 by 1 the girls came in, i was really shy and scared because this is my very 1st time joining a beauty pageant. All the girls were tall and beautiful and i look really down on myself. Then the make up artists and the hair dressers came, there were like more than 10 of them carrying the make up boxes and equipments. So we settle down in the room letting the makeup artists and hair dressers change our image. When everyone was done, the night almost begin. We were all practising our steps and the way to cat walk. I couldn’t believe that everyone the speaks mandarin and i’m so bad at that language. I had to make the assistant to repeat what ever she say in english. Everyone was a competitor to me because of their looks, their body and their height. I was pretty scared about that.
The Night came. The event started at 10.30pm sharp after the performances done by local band singers. With the shivering and nervous feeling, i went up the stage and started doing my best smile and catwalk. Seeing the amount of people and the flashing cameras, i did my best. Everyone of us had to dress in 3 different dressing. 1st it was the casual wear and then was the night wear and ended with the swim wear. We had to go up the stage and catwalk for 5 times. The most scarying part was the introduction where I need to speak and intro my self infront of everyone.
Then the results was out at 12.30am. Doing our last catwalk, they finally announce the semi finalist. I didn’t hope to be chosen at all because of the competition and I couldn’t believe myself that when the MC announce "Number 11, Miss Kelly Khoo from Kuala Lumpur". I was like shock to hear that and I walk to the front as others did. Possing at the front of the stage with the other semi finalist for the photo graphers. All the flashes from the camera making my eyes turn blind. haha.
I went home happily with a gift certificate worth RM1158. All thanks to the support from James. Without him, i don’t think i can experience such a thing and even getting through to the semi finals. The next semi finals will be held on 28 Sept, Thursday night. If anyone is interested to come and see it, everyone is welcome. The place is at Palm Beach Bistros, Jln Bukit Bintang. =) Thanks for reading my blog. If you wanna see the pictures, go to www.multiply.com to take alook.
WOW!!! Its been "ages" since the last time i blogin man. Many things had happening between last blog till now. From breaking to getting back together. From redang trip to all the trips i’ll tell later. From meeting new frens to hating them so much. Really many things had happened. So I shall began my about my trip to Redang.
About Redang trip, i really really regret going there. It wasn’t about the place but it was about the "people" I went with. Sorry to the people who was at the trip reading this. But yeah, i’m being very straight forward whether you like it or not. I hate that trip really much until I don’t even wanna know them as well. The word or "lonely" is really important to me but maybe because "some people" don’t take serious about it but i really do. Each time I mention about the Redang trip to anyone, man I tell you guys. It really suck! Wanna know why? In the beginning I’ve said I don’t wanna go because most of everyone are paired up and I’m alone. Apparently all the girls had their own guys to be with. I was really alone most of the time. But to them, because there were about 6-8 other single guys out there I won’t be lonely. WTF?? You expect me to spent my holiday with this 6-8 single guys when I don’t even know them well? Plus I’m here to spend my time with my frens!!! not them!! I totally wasted RM500 on this stupid trip. I could do so so many things with that amount of cash. About this yucky trip lets not talk about it already. Whats done is done.
Alright, next would be my wonderful Singapore trip with my Baby J. It was sweet. We visited really almost the whole of S’pore. The food was great, the place was great and especially the people there were also great. Even though it wasa 2 long days trip but I really enjoy it really very much. I wanna go back there again with him. I’ve found out lots of places I’ve not been to. During that 2days, I’ve visited; Funan, Night Safari, Orchard Road, Sentosa Island, China Town and urm… I think thats about it. But in just 2 days, sitting MRT from end to another was fun. Because its like you always count down on how long more will the next train arrive. Not many people will sit the LRT over here but there, I bet everyone will sits it. You’ll comfirm never missed it. The whole trip, I can say its cool. The pictures are at www.kkps87.multiply.com Even the Redang trip pictures are there as well.
Next would be my Genting trip. I had missed Jo’s bday celebration for this Genting trip and I was hoping it must be better than Jo’s party. But guess what? To me, I think its more worth it than going drinking, dancing, sitting and smell the terrible smoke. I met new frens from this trip and the people are way better than the people I met in Redang. I did took alot of pictures with Baby J as well. I feel myself getting closer closer with him every single moment. It has been almost 11 months we have been together and to me this relationship is worth it more than anything in the world. We really did had so much fun in Genting. I know he really had alot of fun too. Meeting his old school mates and our New Zealand fren, Justin. The pictures will be posted up soon in Multiply. I was about a 2days trip as well but its about just 1 day even though we did over night there. The place was whecked. Freaking cold up there and it was raining. Thank god i brought my umbrealla up there. About 8 people squezzing in to my little umbrella. My baby forgotten to bring up his jacket and poor him, his shirt was wet and he was cold as well. I was cold as well and he tried all his best to warm me up. Thanks, dar!!! We sat a really very expensive Go-Cart which cost RM36. You wanna know why? That was the price for the entrence of the team park but it was raining and most rides couldn’t be played. It was really misty up there. After the trip we headed back home. Some sat in my baby’s car and some took the bus back. I got back quickly bathe and wow i had a wounderful 1 hour sleep. It was like heaven on the bed. hahha. Then he woke me up and said the rest of them had reach already. So i quickly change and get ready and when I reach there, all of them were licking their hands clean. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DURIAN? Sigh… they finished eating already but oh well it was dinner time as well. I was sooooo hungry. We went over to New Paris and ate for dinner. It was good. A very worth RM10.50 meal. Hahahhaa. Then they start planning whether or not to go to Putra Jaya and ended up we did. It was fun though. hehe. I really had not seen lots of these beautiful places in my life and especially its in Malaysia. If you guys had not been there, you must check it out. They have 2 BEAUTIFUL bridges like the wan in Sydney. But try going in the night. All the lighting of the buildings are wonderful. There are plenty of pictures I have took in it. Go view them as well in my multiply. But the pictures will be up soon. Try going into my multiply page every single day if you had time. hahahaha.
Anyway, funs over. Back to my normal days. Classes from Monday to Friday. Sigh. Assignments dueing as well. Exams coming up this week. Haven really started studying much. Hehe…But oh well. I better get going now. Will blog up soon I hope. Thanks for spending your time reading my blog! =D
What is trust?? Telling him every single detail and the truth is isn’t enough? What more does he want? I tried my best but still he doesn’t trust me. Do I really have to lie only he will trust me? I told the truth and still he doesn’t trust me because I didn’t tell him on the spot but yet i still did. I’ve waited for him for almost half a year and now he is telling me that he don’t know how to trust me. From that sentence i had lost confidence in myself, it really did hurt me. I thought that after all I have tell him, he would understand and would not misunderstand or misjudge me in future. I hope that he will not suspect me on anything because what I do, I do it openly. I never lie and never cheated on him nor anyone in my whole entier life before. I wouldn’t take a relationship as a joke, but still he doesn’t trust me. I’ve done my best and its up to him to trust me or not. Being honest and loyal to him is my way of working things out, telling him who i’m out with and all isn’t it enough? I’ve not complain when i’ve ask him who is he out with and all he can tell me is just "friend". I don’t know who is that friend and what are they like? He never tell me plus he doesn’t want to. If this goes on I really don’t know how long can this relationship last? Its his choice now, I won’t say a word, and I won’t make any move. He doesn’t appreciate my doings then don’t blame me if one day what ever his thinking is, comes true.
Sometimes I don’t even want to know that I could drive because people would tend to take advantage of me. Just because I know how to drive doesn’t mean I’m a driver to them. I just don’t like of being used. My family like that, friends like that and everyone like that as well. Why can’t they give me a break? Last night, my mum keep nagging about asking me to fetch my bro from skewl then fetch him on saturday which actually take my day because the time he needs transport is in the middle of the day and guess what? not only i need to fetch him 1 time but 4 times!! Why can’t they understand me a little?? I just wish I could re-pick my family and friendship. I feel so betrayed. sigh…
Now I actually know whats the feeling of bring "ffk". Sorry baby(james) for ffk-ing you last time now I know the feeling already and I guess this is probably my Karma from it and I don’t like the feeling. The stories goes like this, I told my fren that I would goona pick her up at 8pm and she say ok and guess what?? I was outside her house until 8.45pm. Called and message her, she doesn’t wanna answer or reply my message. If you had no credit atleast come down and let me know but NOPE. I was there waiting in the car alone for freaking more than half an hour. Guess she must had taken her own sweet little time while me starving in the car. Before that her cousin came down and ask whether I wanna come in and I was waiting in the middle of the road and aren’t we suppose to be goin out already like how long ago. So her cousin said she go in and ask my fren first and guess what?? She didn’t turn out. I guess they were taking their own sweet time dressing up for a so called "Holloween" party when we are just goin SS2. What the hell!! Who wouldn’t get pissed?? So I left the place with an empty stomach and went straight to home. Feeling hungry that I could almost eat a pregnant cow, I called up my bro to go buy me back my dinner which became supper. That was how I spend my miserable Friday nite watching tv at home. NICE…
Anyway lets not talk about it anymore. Its the past. No point putting the anger in my heart. Learn to forgive and forget. Hahaha… Look whose talking. Anyway I would be heading to redang on Sunday night with my frens. About 15 guys and 5 girls including me. Would I get a BF there?? No body knows… ahahhahahaa (James, don’t merajuk yea.) Looking forward to the trip. Will blog more after I get back. Alrights readers.. See ya soon!!
Its 3.48am right now? I can’t sleep I don’t know why? I feel scared right now, keep playing the love songs i had dedicated to him. I don’t know why? It makes me feel much better, thinking about all the happy moments that I had with him and it makes me feel of wanting to see him more but I know I have to stop doing all these. Its no point cause no matter what I say or do, he will never bother. I’m probably just a no body to him and not his priority like how it used to be. Its been exactly 3 weeks the last time I saw him. I wonder how is he now? What has he been doing all these while? I would want to talk to him but every time I do so, he always had to leave as soon as possible. Looking at his name online makes me feel like talking to him more but if I fo so he would leave. But if I do so I don’t know what should I say? What topic should I bring out? Its not like last time anymore. Last time i can just simply say anything I want without feeling nervous while I type to him but now its different. Now while I type, my heart pumps real hard and fast. My hands starts to sweat! I wish I could change back time and be the prefect girl he wants. He’ll never forgive me and not talk to me like how he used to be. Everything has change. Why?? Why must it change when my happiness is here? I’m happy with him, why must God take him away from me? Is this my karma? Am I not loyal enough for him? Or I don’t love him enough till I have to get this? When will he only talk to me properly? When? I admit that I still have feelings for him and acting as if I don’t when I talk to him. Its because I don’t want him to leave. He prefer me talking to him as a friend and not more than that and yes I would. Why? So he would talk to me back. I still care for him alot. But I must stop! It brings me no where. He doesn’t realise of me doing so. He doesn’t even bother that I put my eyes on him. Sigh… I wish that he could speak to me. Like update me about his life time like how he update his friends. I’m his friend too but why he is acting to me this way? Am I actually worth getting this kinda treatment from him? My graduation day is on Friday, 16 June. I really wish he could come like he promise me last time. As a friend or not, you breath the same air I do!
James, I hope its not too late. I’m sorry for everything what I did that make you mad. I know what ever I say or do, you would still treat me cold. But how long will you do this to me? I know that you don’t like to have enermies and I’m not so please stop avoiding me already. Since you can hang out with your friends, why can’t you hang out with me as well? I’m your friend too. Why can’t I have the same treatment from you like how you treat others? I don’t understand? Don’t you want to go shopping like how we used to? Hanging out together and teasing each other? Even though we are friends, why can’t we do it? You can do it with your friends so can we? Give yourself a chance, and you might enjoy it. No body knows? Don’t control your future. Let it go naturally!
Its 4.24am now. I feel much better after blogging and I guess i’m goin to bed now. Nites everyone especially you! Take care and hope you’ll talk to me soon.
